Many of you have heard me speak about my beloved Dave. Years ago, we dreamed of buying a sailboat and taking a long journey. When that dream began to feel possible, we decided to put our affairs in order and met with a trust attorney. Because Dave had watched both of his parents live for many difficult years with dementia, he included a specific statement in his Advance Health Care Directive outlining his wishes if he developed dementia. He wrote that if he had Alzheimer’s Disease, could no longer converse with his family, and was receiving artificial hydration and nutrition, he wanted those measures stopped so he could die naturally.
Fast forward. Dave developed Alzheimer’s disease and found himself in the exact situation he had described eight years before. As his health care agent, and knowing his ardent wishes, I had to make the decision to stop the IVs, arrange hospice care, and bring him home. Although the decision was deeply sad, I knew I was honoring his wish not to endure the final stage of dementia.
After Dave’s death, I came to understand the vital importance of Advance Health Care Directives and Dementia Directives. I educated myself about these documents and now share what I’ve learned with others.
Some might disagree with Dave’s choice, but he considered it carefully and, for him, it was right. He had the foresight to plan for this stage of life, and his wishes were honored because he clearly documented them. Today, several helpful templates are available for expressing future wishes in the event of dementia.
Please join us at Café Mortel on Wednesday, August 12, in the East Rec, 3:00-4:15, to learn about this option for dementia. I will review a sample template and share my experience. Come with your questions. All welcome!